Wish granted, all you guys suck though.

I wish to have a new computer

Wish granted, but it gets stolen.

Error, no wish asked.

I wish for a Ferrari.

Wish granted, but you crash and die.

I wish for a Gibson Les Paul (guitar).

Wish granted but you suck so you sell it.

I wish for a mousepad.

That, my friend, is the ultimate troll. I applaud you.

Wish granted. It's FPSRussia' old mousepad and is packed with explosives. He shoots your mouse, le bullet goes through le mouse and into le mousepad. It explodes. You die.

I wish I had a new mouse.

Wish granted, but you get annoyed by its squeaking and it eats all your cheese.

I wish for a flat screen TV, the size of the screens in movie theaters.

Wish granted, but the TV is too big and you can't see anything! xD

I wish I was like Superman or some shit...

Wish granted, you live you're born in the toilet, and live your life in the sewers for the rest of your life.

I wish that I didn't do my projects the night before because I am too lazy...

Wish granted, you didn't do them the night before, so you don't do it at all.

I wish I could stop procrastinating... Meh.... I'll start... Tomorrow....