Bi-Polar is nothing to mess with.
If you sincerely fear you may be bi-polar, please seek help/therapy for your own benefit.

I dated a bi-polar woman for 4 years (medicated and unmedicated) and it was the most difficult relationship I have ever had.
Just know that you aren't defined by your disorder, but you must learn to keep it in check the best you can or else it was cause a deeper depression.