Yeah I can totally dig that somebody can have this profound of an effect on you in such a short space of time because I've experienced that myself. I had a friend that helped me come to terms with some deep personal stuff and just making me feel wanted during that period of time is something I will always appreciate. I was foolish enough to fall in love with her because this is me lol, I made sure it didn't end destructively and I never told her this little factoid so I'm content with us just being distant on good terms. Despite our brief passionate platonic relationship she was bad for my mental health, due in part to her mental disorder -- we were like two bad eggs in an otherwise good bunch.

What I hope is that you find yourself in a happier place in the long term. You sound like you are in a good place now but it's going to be difficult as time goes on, especially since you haven't put the idea of you two being in a relationship behind you. I find these hazy grey areas far harder than painful break-ups. That initial moment of catharsis, it makes everything so clear. This relationship is over, 0% chance of getting back together, cherish the memories. Easy innit?


I'm interpreting this to mean that you got into a relationship and fell in love without defining boundaries and talking about what both of you wanted emotionally? It's common in relationships as you get older to have several talks about what each person wants as many people go on dates very quickly after a break up and are not emotionally ready nor available to commit to a new relationship. But they never tell the person they're on the date with because they fear that will end any chance of a relationship forming. (Funny segue story: I have a friend that goes on dates just to fuck, they want the girls that have just broke up with their boyfriends because they will be the most passionate in bed. Call them an asshole at your leisure but they do say that the easiest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.)

If this is something that happened to you - the too much all at once, take it as a learning experience that no relationship of value has ever started out too slowly. I want to fall passionately in love as much as the next person, probably more so because of various things I don't want to disclose but I respect boundaries and I respect space and that people need to have a deep think or three before committing to what could be "the one", if such a thing exists.

But I'm rambling... from one male to another, lots of love and cake to your general direction. <3 And good job on being a kick-ass, always consentual selfless boyfriend. You're probably a rare breed to be honest, like INFJ's. Sometimes it doesn't work out but sometimes you come along and actually are the best thing that has ever happened to somebody and then they never want to let you go so they don't and it's awesome. And sometimes the relationship doesn't work out but you wind up best friends and see the value of spending time on each other (a more precious commodity than money) and you come to appreciate that connection. So if you love her and value her input and a sexual/romantic relationship doesn't work out, a more platonic relationship could be beneficial to the both of you.

I appreciate you. And I would even if your hair is on the right side ;u;