Maybe one day…

So you haven't?! That's cray.

Blazing Saddles - 9/10: For the record, I know very little of Westerns. I know the tropes, I know the stereotypes but I must profess that I have never sat down and watched a proper Spaghetti Western. So what a better place to start than with a Mel Brooks film? If you aren't familiar with Mel Brooks, all you have to know is that he's famous for his satire. He takes the piss, basically. Blazing Saddles is brilliant. In the grand scheme of my movie taste, I must profess that I rarely call a film brilliant. Entertaining, yes. Gripping, yes. Dramatic, yes. But brilliance is a true rarity, I think a brilliant movie is one that anybody can enjoy. You might not like comedies, westerns or satire in general but I just know that you'll like Blazing Saddles. You'd be mad not to.

The Iceman - 7/10: This is a film based on the true story of Richard Kuklinski, a contract killer, a man that the DiMeo crime family hired to just straight up eliminate possible threats. He was nicknamed the Iceman because he was a stone cold killer with no remorse. Well, that and the way he used to freeze his victim's bodies so that Coroners couldn't determine the time of death. When interviewed in prison in his later years, Kuklinski professed to killing approximately 150 to 300 people. The reason The Iceman is a good film is because Richard Kuklinski was, by nature, a polarising personality. The Iceman plays on good vs evil from the get-go as it attempts to justify Kuklinski's work, this is largely unbiased, which is surprising because most films like this would paint a totally different picture. As far as crime dramas go, this is a good one.

The Spy Who Loved Me - 6.5/10: This is the third Roger Moore Bond film after The Man With The Golden Gun preceded Live And Let Die. Most people will tell you that Roger Moore was a bad Bond, I don't believe that to be the case at all, I just think Roger Moore was Bond during a pretty bad time to be James Bond. He was never going to live up to Sean Connery. The Spy Who Loved Me is an above average film, it's mostly let-down by it's two hour runtime that is just 20 to 30 minutes too long. They spend at least an hour setting the scene establishing a villain and a setting for the eventual showdown. There's a lot of good stuff here though, Barbara Bach is a great Bond girl and Jaws is superb in his little role. Just a little bit too long, that's all.

Moonraker - 5/10: This is where I've already started regretting watching every James Bond movie. By its core premise, James Bond is already a little ridiculous. He knows exactly what buttons to press - physically, mentally and theoretically. He's able to get himself out of any scrape and he's able to foil any plot no matter how devious. So when you add a ton of comic relief and have a load of Astronauts fight in space, you know you're just going over the top. I don't what else to say, this was just all kinds of ridiculous and I'm not sure if I enjoyed it or not. I was glad it ended, although that meant that I couldn't see anymore of Lois Childs as Holly Goodhead, my god was she beautiful.

I'll be overtaking this post with Bond movie reviews for the next couple of weeks, I'm finally tracking through my Bond 50th Anniversary Blu-Ray boxset.

For Your Eyes Only - 6.6/10: You can tell that they wanted to bring Bond back to earth a little bit after Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only is noticeably more serious and less comical. We start with him visiting the grave of his wife, a story arc they usually try to ignore. Bond kills a guy by kicking his car off the edge of a cliff in a real dark moment... I wasn't sure what to think of that. But oh my god, the ending... it was ridiculously stupid... Right, Bond is sent on a mission to get the bottom of the sinking of a ship called the St. George. It has a super computer on it called the ATAC, so Bond uncovers it then the villain steals it so he can give it to the KGB. One thing leads to another and Bond takes it and then throws it off the edge off a cliff right in front of some KGB authority... yeah good on you Bond but then the KGB dude just laughs and leaves... then the Prime fucking Minister rings Bond and thinks she's talking to him when it's a fucking Parrot. What a slap in the face.

Octopussy - 4.7: It was entertaining. That's about all though. Octopussy is one of those movies that I know people will love because there is a lot to like here - it's set in India, there's a circus, there's a decent villain, there's some great action scenes and the entire film is incredibly light-hearted - but I just personally thought it was a little stupid. Seeing Bond dress up as a clown and be mistaken for a circus act about sums up the entire film.

A View To A Kill - 5.2/10: So much potential. So much squandered potential. Christopher Walken makes a good villain and they actually establish him very nicely. But then the film shifts gears and loses its way. I hate the way that Bond movies move at such a quick pace, there's no time to digest what's going on because something else happens just seconds later and I hate that. Plus, Roger Moore was 57 when they were filming. He's at least 10 years too old to be James Bond, seeing him make out with women who look no older than 20 is a bit odd.

The Living Daylights - 6.9/10: Hello Timothy Dalton. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes after 7 Bond movies with Roger Moore. This is a re-boot in many ways - a new Bond, a new HQ for MI6, a new Moneypenny. The Living Daylights is not some masterpiece, it's not Goldfinger by any stretch of the imagination but it's a solid outing and an enjoyable watch. The cast is very good here, especially Maryam D'Abo who is a great Bond girl despite Bond's early suspicions about her allegiance. I like the way there's literally 4 villains, it makes for some great twists as Bond gets to the bottom of what's going on. I recommend this one, this was a good film.

First film megapost in months, this is well overdue.

Patton - 8.5/10: At three hours long, Patton is a biographical epic about the highly feared, inspirational U.S. Army General George Smith Patton, portrayed perfectly by the great George C. Scott. Scott is General Patton, nobody else could have played that role with the same accuracy or communicated the same personality with such bravura. The film won 7 oscars, including Best Original Screenplay. Edmund H. North wrote just one more film nine years later, his partner in writing would go on to make The Godfather two years later. This is an essential watch for any film lover.

Clerks - 4/10: My brother remarked confidently that because of Clerks status as a cult classic, I would fall to its charms like a wide-eyed teenage girl. I didn't, this movie bored me. It's Kevin Smith's first film, an independent, low budget indie flick. Kevin Smith would go on to make many good to great films, including Chasing Amy, but I couldn't tolerate the pretentious dialogue that this film spouted for nearly 90 minutes. Not for me.

Escape From Alcatraz - 7.1/10: In June 1962, three men escaped from the island of Alcatraz and were never seen again. Frank Morris was the man who spearheaded the escape, a rather ingenious plan of many different steps that was somehow successful. Whether or not they made it to Angel Island has been the subject of much debate, but there's no denying that this is a fine film largely anchored by a vintage Clint Eastwood performance as well as great moments of simmering tension and intense drama.

The Inbetweeners 2 - 6/10: If you liked the TV show and/or the first film, then you'll like this. There's a necessary amount of vulgarity and sarcastic humour to anchor what is, an extremely thin script. But hey, it's fun and it doesn't take itself too seriously. Neither should you.

Red Heat - 6.8/10: Arnold Schwarzenegger in a buddy cop movie with Jim Belushi? Chasing Russians through Chicago? Bad stereotypes and stupid dialogue? It's a good job this film was made so late into the Cold War otherwise this could have been a diplomatic disaster. Every member of this cast delivers though and this is a lot of fun, Arny's dead-pan frankness just makes this film. Nothing special, but you'll enjoy it and I bet you good money you'll remember it. If you have 100 minutes to kill, I can think of many worse ways to pass that time.

Robocop (2014) - 6.3/10: I don't know what to say. I'm a bit bored of these films now, I'm sick of heroic characters being subject to the modern formula of action movies. This could have, scratch that... this should have been different. You've seen this film before for the most part and whilst it's entertaining, I can't help but feel it's too polished and too PG-13. It doesn't know whether it wants to be dark and gritty, or just a typical action movie about a hero killing bad guys. Besides, did Robocop really need a remake? I don't think so.

Total Recall- 6/10

Interesting, for me though too confusing to understand what's happened until it gets quite far into the film. Basically the government "Brain Wash" this dude and he forgets he's a Secret agents or something along the lines of one. He then finds out his past and kicks some ass, I recommend it.

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” -Mark Twain

Original or remake?

The remake (2012), never seen the original. Is it a must watch?

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” -Mark Twain

Compared to the remake, yeah. The original has something of a cult following and is one of Arnie's all-time classic performances.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) 8/10 - I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, very nice concept. Nice actors. Simple yet thought provoking. Was told to watch without any research before and/or after the film. I would purchase this movie myself.

admin he is doing it sideways