Uchies wrote:
So basically I've been several months clean. I had a drug test coming up in 5 days so I decided, in my mind, to relapse then so that I wouldn't be able to continuously do it. Basically only being able to get away with doing it once.
I'm used to taking 20+ xanax bars at a time. I decided to only take 5 bars, and I woke up without remember anything about the whole day and parts of my house trashed... holes in the wall, etc.
I basically feel like shit. I set up a deal to buy some acetone wash (coke) and nearly spun deep back into my ways. Not that anyone probably gives a shit, but... I was doing very well and didn't feel like I needed the drugs. Addiction is like an allergy in the brain. When you ingest the drugs, an addicted mind has a reaction. It will now take several months again for me to feel normal again. Hopefully this slip will only be the one time.
Don't really have anyone to rant to. I'm not a social drug user, I only use drugs alone. Thought I would maybe feel better by posting this.
1) Don't ever think we don't care. You need someone to rant to? I'm always here for you my love <3
2) I'm sad you've relapsed but I also am glad you know what you did wrong.
3) It sucks but it will get better
4) You don't need to be alone. I believe in you. Every single aspect about you.
<3