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might be joining the Navy..
http://elevatedgaming.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=30376		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Haha Long Bread [ Tue May 08, 2018 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  might be joining the Navy..
So I am about to join the US Navy to be a nuclear engineer.
I've already gone through MEPS and passed.
The only thing holding me back now is that I need to get one document in so I can be medically cleared to join.
Over the past few weeks, however, (yes weeks, the hospital is being REALLY slow...) I have been having second thoughts about joining up.
On one hand, I want to join as it would put me on a fast track to retirement in about 10 years if I play my cards right..
On the other hand I have a girlfriend I plan to propose to and am getting really attached to the thought of just working locally and starting a family with this girl..

At this point I'm torn at what to do. Posting on an online forum for strangers to read is the option I am turning to because my family is no help and my girlfriend just wants what's best for me.

I have no clue what my next move is.
Author:  Xanderian [ Tue May 08, 2018 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
Haha Long Bread wrote:
On one hand, I want to join as it would put me on a fast track to retirement in about 20 years if I play my cards right..

Ftfy. Even though you're going nuke, the bonuses you get won't really be enough to allow you to retire after 10 years. Not unless you plan to do investing or some other stuff on the side.... However, after 20 years leaving the Navy would be considered retiring from the navy, and you'd get a percentage of your base pay, which could theoretically sustain you depending on what your base pay is, meaning you may not have to work. Afaik nuke gets no extra base pay, as it's all considered bonuses.

The idea of working and returning home to your wife and kids (assuming all works out between you and your gf), feeling mostly settled down, is a nice idea, but isn't compatible with the Navy, since you'd likely be going out to sea a lot, and thus would be missing some things back at home. There would be benefits for your wife and kids though, such as free medical care, BAH (basic allowance for housing), and access to military bases (for things like school and the likes, if you want your future kids to go to a military school). If you join another branch or get a rate that doesn't get you deployed or sent out to sea, you could expect to work some normal shifts and return home to your wife and kids. I've found through some observing that the Air Force is by far the best branch for military members with or expecting family.

Unless you have a highly candid recruiter, you're better off trying to contact military members who have families, and asking them about what all you need to know. Depending on the personality of your future wife and kids, it could be an excellent lifestyle for them, or it could be a horrible one. It depends on how much they like moving, and if they're mentally capable of packing up and moving every few years. I know that for my family, the military was one of the best things that ever happened to us. Personally, moving a lot was a breath of fresh air for me since I made mistakes as a child that cost me my reputation, and stuff like that. So, moving to new places was excellent for me. My father was perfectly alright with the idea since he had no problems meeting new people anyways, and he himself was a Navy veteran. And my mother, who joined the Army when I was 11 (I'm 17 now; turning 18 in July), loved the training and the travel. So it all really depends on how your future family ends up being. Personally, I recommend being straightforward with your gf about what it is you want to do, so she can tell you what it is she wants. It's better than trying to make assumptions about whether or not she'd be alright with it all.

With all that being said, there is no guarantee that things will go well between you and your gf. I see no real reason to throw away what you want to do for things that aren't guaranteed to you. She could cheat on you next week, or get hit by a bus for all you know. However, you seem like you're interested in joining the Navy, and I see no reason to put that on hold unless you know for sure that she is the one, and that you are the one for her. Otherwise, you're probably going to end up throwing away something you wanted to do, all for nothing. If she says no to the idea of you joining the Navy, but you still absolutely want to do it, what she wants clashes with what you want, and I hate to tell you, that means she isn't the one.

Btw, if you do join the Navy, you and I might end up being shipmates one day. C:
Author:  McNugget [ Tue May 08, 2018 10:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
I love this community. Everyone is a troll here but has some honest to god advice. Learn a lot from reading post like these.
Author:  koolaid [ Tue May 08, 2018 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
Don't ever hesitate on career choices or life decisions for a woman that isn't your wife.
Author:  Sibblet [ Tue May 08, 2018 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
As long as you have an idea of what you would like your life to turn out in the long run, your choice is yours and yours only.
Author:  Doldol [ Tue May 08, 2018 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
Well, what's best for her?
Author:  BriBee [ Wed May 09, 2018 12:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
koolaid wrote:
Don't ever hesitate on career choices or life decisions for a woman that isn't your wife.



Yah but he wants her to be. So shouldn't that still be took into consideration?




Anyways...do what you absolutely believe is the best thing. If you know she'll wait then go to the navy. You seem to have thought it through quite a bit and the benefits of joining are there. Take into account whether or not staying is something you'd regret later. In the end its always gonna be your decision. You got this!
Author:  Neezon [ Wed May 09, 2018 3:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
koolaid wrote:
Don't ever hesitate on career choices or life decisions for a woman that isn't your wife.


In my opinion, "universal" advice like this doesn't really work, as people have different goals and wants in life. To some, the career may be worth more, whereas to others, being with a person they love matters more. There's nothing wrong or no shame in preferring either.

Having said that, it's still smart to stay realistic in a relationship, especially if it is a truly life-changing development that may be hindered. Better not to put all your eggs in one basket, so to say.
Author:  Nick Cage [ Wed May 09, 2018 9:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
I grew up in a navy family
from the kids perspective
-Had to move every 3 years, never kept the same school, couldnt retain friends until the age of like 13
-Was really hard on my mom raisin two kids alone, emotional distress, missing her husband
-I have perfect teeth. never had to worry about medical bills lol
-Free housing, water, electric so we were privileged of sorts
-When step dad would go on cruise for 6 months I could do whatever I wanted because my mom is dope
Author:  Sunbro Solaire [ Sat May 19, 2018 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: might be joining the Navy..
I'm assuming your feelings are conflicted on this whole thing. Go for your gut feeling overall. If you feel like you'd be happiest staying there with your girl, go for it. Live that happy life. If you feel the betterment of your life would be achieved by joining the Navy, then do that. But remember, you have to take into account what that will open up for you in the future and how it will effect you and your loved ones over time.

We're here for you, and if you need help or someone to talk to just ask.
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